Kate Middleton fans (c’mon, I’m sure they exist somewhere) have been in a panic the past two months. Why? That’s because their beloved Princess of Wales is MIA — and the internet is full of theories about where she went.
To be clear, she’s not literally missing. I’m sure someone knows where she is. But the point is, we don’t, and as a result, we’re left speculating about where she went and what she’s up to. If we’re to believe Newsweek, Middleton is stepping away from the spotlight while she recovers from abdominal surgery. However, if we’re going to have a little fun with it, she’s going to return to public life with an absolute dump truck.
Kate Middleton hasn’t been seen for about 2 months now pic.twitter.com/NN1GqBD6PD
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) February 27, 2024
That’s right: If we’re to believe the most diseased minds of the internet, Middleton has left us and will return upon fully recovering from her Brazilian Butt Lift.
“yeh so basically Kate Middleton hasn’t been seen in months like she’s actually missing. word on the conspiracy street is that she’s doing 1 of many things - gone for a BBL, growing out her bangs, lost at the Wonka experience. also she’s possibly banksy x” pic.twitter.com/IP20NIKgGl
— tiger b (@tiger_brooke) February 28, 2024
Another prominent theory blends two recent internet events and says that she’s secretly working at, or attending, the Wonka experience that went awry in Scotland. Why not, I guess?
kate middleton returning to buckingham palace with a bbl and a cup of lemonade from the glasgow willy wonka experience pic.twitter.com/JzFbSIyfOk
— soph ✰ (@keeleyyhawes) February 28, 2024
BREAKING: Kate Middleton has been spotted at the Willy Wonka experience in Glasgow pic.twitter.com/R4Nf8HMCrP
— Joe ✨ (@balf4our) February 28, 2024
There were also some more unorthodox theories, with a few more serious than others:
My three kids are roughly the same age as Kate Middleton’s so I can say pretty confidently that she is hiding in the bathroom pretending to pee for a really long time.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) February 28, 2024
And don't forget the MISSING JEWELRY. £80 MILLION WORTH OF JEWELRY IS ALSO MISSING.
— Carmen's Granddaughter (@CarmenGranddau1) February 28, 2024
The Royal Family is not only silent on a missing Kate Middleton but it's also silent about the missing Acquamarine necklaces and Cartier diamonds. Was Kate Middleton the Royal last seen in them? pic.twitter.com/dZjyfdJjos
The reality is probably boring, but if Kate Middleton returns looking like she’s hiding basketballs in her jeans, I’ll eat my words.
1 Comments